In Your Eyes
by PoisonA
Summary: Sequel to "Through a Cat's Eyes". Lily has finally consented to go on a date with James. This is the beginning of their story where Lily discovers whether James is really to be trusted or not. Rated M to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

**In Your Eyes**

Hello everyone! I cannot believe this but I'm back and after much consideration I've decided to do something which I should have done a long time ago: a sequel to my story _Through a Cat's Eyes_. The story picks up right after the previous one so sit back, relax and hopefully enjoy the ride...

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**Chapter 1**

The morning of the 26th of December dawned bright and uncommonly sunny which made the snow on the Hogwarts grounds shimmer blindingly. Lily Evans stood next to the front doors of the school waiting patiently for her date squinting at her surroundings and thinking that even the weather was mocking her and her decision to go out with _him_.

She checked her watch and sighed loudly. It was too late to back out now but even so, she had given her word and she would never break it. She quietly reminded herself that this was just one date and there was nothing permanent. She was just keeping up her part of the bargain she had struck with James Potter. Unwillingly, her mind took her back to the events that transpired a few days earlier...

_Whilst doing her duty as a Head Girl and defending a helpless first year Gryffindor she had been turned into a cat by a one-time-friend-but-presently-quite-despised Slytherin by the name of Severus Snape. After being adopted by none other than school hunk turned Head boy James Potter, she had spent a couple of days trying to get people to notice her and turn her back to her human form. This finally came to pass on Christmas Day when the boys discovered 'Lilykins' true nature by means of a mysterious map. James agreed to turn her back but on one condition: Lily, who had spent the better part of her school years at Hogwarts refusing his advances, had to go out with him on a date. Initially out of pride she refused the offer but then, maybe influenced by his behaviour towards her while in feline form in the last two days, she reconsidered her response. _

And so that is why she was stuck in this awkward situation standing atop the frosted, glittering steps of Hogwarts waiting for her once proclaimed arch-enemy to escort her on a date. Just the mere thought of his boyish grin and messy hair made her cringe and shiver inwardly. However, she steeled herself and breathed inwardly while she straightened her red coat and white gloves.

She wondered what was taking him so long. She was meant to meet him at 10 o'clock and then head over to the neighbouring village of Hogsmeade. Most of the student body and staff that had stayed at school during the Christmas Holidays were already out and so the school was almost empty. She was starting to suspect that James was hiding somewhere observing her as she fumed and waited for him, when she heard the sound of footsteps behind her. She turned and saw James approaching her across the entrance hall.

In the short time it took him to reach her, she noticed several things that took her by surprise. He was alone, thankfully choosing to leave his side-kicks behind. Apparently, he decided to take his date seriously. Secondly, as he got closer she saw that he had, albeit unsuccessfully, attempted to smoothen down a tuft of unruly black hair near the front of his head. This resulted in his hair sticking out horizontally like a baseball cap. At this she couldn't help but giggle. He was also carrying something in his hands but before she could take a good look at it he was upon her and when he saw that she was smiling his mouth cracked open in his trademark grin.

She rolled her eyes at him but, being quite close, could not help but notice that his whole face lights up when he does so. She felt a tiny flutter within her but forcefully steadied herself and turned back around to start walking down the stairs.

"Wait!" said James, holding her by the elbow.

She looked back at him, curiosity clearly etched in her green eyes.

"I've got something for you," he said, blushing slightly and scratching the back of his head. With his other hand he offered a small red box wrapped in golden ribbon.

_How can this be?!, _thought Lily bewildered. _Could it be that the famous James Potter was feeling shy? _She was also surprisingly touched that he had thought of giving her a gift.

She held the gift in her hands momentarily out of words. Then as she started unwrapping it, she said, "Thank you but don't you think this will make me fall head over heels for you or-"

She stopped in her tracks, staring at the object within the box which she had just finished to unwrap. In the box, lying snugly on a bed of plush red velvet sat a white lily in full bloom. It was one of the most beautiful things she had ever seen and although she saw that it was an accessory it looked like it has just been plucked from the garden that very morning. She held it in her hands and it shimmered slightly in the sunlight as she moved it. She couldn't stop looking at it.

"You were saying?" said James, grinning again clearly relishing the expression on her face. When she didn't say anything, his smile faltered a little and he continued speaking. "Umm ... I hope you like it... I made it yesterday; it took me a while to choose the colour but then decided to go with white. White lilies look the best... I think. You can wear it on your wrist or in your hair...I..." He stopped as Lily lifted her eyes and mumbled something under her breath.

He frowned, not accustomed to Lily reacting like this. "Sorry, what?"

Lily slid the flower through her hand and on her wrist and looked at him. "I said thank you, it's beautiful. I... don't know what to say." she replied, feeling uncomfortable.

James smiled relieved and led her down the steps towards the school gates. "You don't have to say anything. I'm glad you like it because this is just the beginning."

He grinned as they made their way towards Hogsmeade, leaving Lily to wonder what he meant by that and soothe down the conflicting feelings suddenly aroused inside of her.

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I hope you loved this first chapter just as much as I loved writing it. Please, leave a review and tell me what you think. I'll hopefully update soon with the next chapter. So long xx


	2. Chapter 2

Hey guys! Thanks for the reviews. Just wanted to say something briefly. If you haven't read the story _Through a cat's eyes_ I would suggest you do as you will understand this one much better. I regret immensely not having written this sequel earlier. Still it's better late than never! Also, when I wrote _Through a cat's eyes_, Deathly Hallows hadn't been published yet, hence my portrayal of Snape. I will try to adhere more to the Snape we got to know in the last book in this story. Thank you for your patience!

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**Chapter 2**

Lily was following James down the main street of Hogsmeade. Students and school staff alike milled around chatting amiably and enjoying the festive atmosphere. Lily however was lost in her own thoughts.

Her eyes fell again to the white lily on her wrist which he had given her moments ago. She had to admit that it was quite a nice piece of work, something which would have made Professor McGonagall and Professor Flitwick beam with pride. Although from their time spent together in class she knew that James was talented, she never expected this level of magic. It was then that she realized how little she knew about him.

This came as no surprise seeing as she had always pushed him away whenever he had made the slightest suggestion for them to go out together. Till now he had only been Mr. Popular who was always surrounded by his gang and who enjoyed making pranks on other students. These more often than not included Severus and his fellow Slytherins.

_You know that's not exactly true,_ said a small voice in her head. Reluctantly she had to admit that James had started to change this last year or so ever since he became Head Boy. Although he could still be obnoxious at the best of times, she had noticed a slight change in his demeanour.

She mentally shook herself while unconsciously quickened her pace. As always she was over-thinking. This date does not mean anything. _I just have to go through with it and then I'll be done with him_. It was then that she bumped into something very solid and fell back hard on a bank of snow.

She frantically tried to get up wondering what the heck had just happened. Her nose was pounding where she had taken the full force of the blow and she could hear someone laughing softly. She looked up and saw James looking down at her with an amused look on his face.

"You should be more careful where you're going, Evans," he said.

Somewhat embarrassed, she realized that James had stopped walking and absorbed in her thoughts as she was, she had bumped into him and bounced back.

She rolled her eyes and tried to get up again but the snow had been piled so deep that she was stuck and she had only succeeded in digging herself deeper. She sighed in frustration and said, "Well are you going to give me a hand or are you just going to stand there?"

"I thought you'd never ask," he said, with a twinkle in his eyes. He offered his hand and pulled her up in one swift, smooth move. Lily was surprised that he was so strong.

_All that quidditch practice must be paying off_, she mused as she shook off the snow from her clothing.

"So... I thought we'd start with a mug of butterbeer," he said while motioning towards the welcoming door of The Three Broomsticks.

She hesitated. _The pub will probably be packed today_, she thought. She had hoped for a quieter place, away from curious eyes and gossiping mouths. But then again, why should she care? _This is just a casual date right?_ she told herself as she promptly led the way towards the door.

Lily seated herself at a table near a window. James walked towards the bar to order drinks while she surveyed the room. Not surprisingly, there hadn't been a lot of students who had stayed at Hogwarts during the Christmas holidays, preferring instead to go home and spend time with their family. Again, her thoughts turned to her own family, particularly her sister. She wished that things had gone differently for them but the events that had been set in motion once she had received her Hogwarts acceptance letter were beyond her control. Petunia had never forgiven her.

Lily sighed feeling suddenly melancholic despite the Christmas carol singing in the background. A loud guffaw made her look up to inquire where the laughter was coming from. Severus was sitting with two other Slytherins around two tables away from them. She suddenly had a flashback of them both at the swings when they were still little kids, no more than 10 years old. With a rush of fondness, she recalled that Severus was the very first wizard she had ever met. Coming from a Muggle-born family, at that time she had had no idea of the magical world and the school that would become a big part of her life. They would spend hours lying down on the grass; him telling her about countless and wonderful things and her listening to him raptly wishing desperately for the first of September. But that was before he was sorted in Slytherin, before he started hanging out with Nott, Crabbe and Malfoy, before their fights and before everything changed.

Severus suddenly, seemingly sensing her gaze upon him, turned his head and locked his eyes with hers. His eyes were black as pitch and deep... and for a second they seemed to contain all the sorrow in the world. Then just as suddenly, his facial expression dissolved in his usual condescending sneer. He looked away just as James returned with two mugs full of butterbeer.

James sat down opposite her and raised his mug. "Cheers!"

Still caught in the train of her thoughts, she raised her mug half-heartedly, took a sip and proceeded to stare at the steaming golden contents within.

"Someone's in a pensive mood today," said James, after noticing her behaviour.

She smiled despite herself and said, "Sorry, I didn't mean to be such a downer."

He moved his hand forwards towards hers on the table, as if to hold it but then seemed to think better of it. Instead he said, somewhat worried, "Is it this place? We can go somewhere quieter if you want or take a walk outside if you're not feeling well."

She looked in those usually mischievous hazel brown eyes and was both surprised and touched to see the amount of care within them. She suddenly felt guilty for behaving like that.

"No, no ... it's not the place. It's just sometimes the past has a way of catching up with you, you know?"

He nodded as if in understanding although Lily was pretty sure he had no idea what she was talking about. This made her smile and she took another sip of the butterbeer, feeling already a bit better.

"I like you much better when you smile," he said while looking at her.

The simple, straightforward and genuine way in which he said that took her off guard and made her blush. She took another sip to cover her face. Then there was an awkward silence where James looked down, somewhat keenly interested in a knot on the surface of the wooden table and Lily looking outside the window.

A face suddenly appeared at the window which startled Lily so much that she screamed, jerked back and nearly fell of her chair. It was when she saw James laughing that she realized that the face was nothing more than Sirius who had apparently spotted her sitting near the window and decided to make a little joke.

_Honestly, will they ever grow up? _She thought as she gave him one of her best glares. Sirius winked at herand walked away to join Remus and Peter who promptly clapped him on the back as if he had just performed Beethoven's 5th Symphony from memory.

Then she turned her attention to James who still looked amused but was somewhat unsuccessfully trying to hide it for her sake.

"Will you ever grow up?" She repeated her question out loud.

"Not until there's still time to have fun," he said grinning.

"Well you certainly have the company to do that," she said motioning to Sirius who was still imitating her reaction when he scared her at the window.

"Yeah, those guys are like family," said James, his tone of voice turning a little serious.

She looked at James closely, trying to discern whether this was just another attempt at a joke but he seemed to be telling the truth.

"You compare them to family yet what makes you so sure they'll always be there for you?", she asked.

He shrugged, "I just know. We've been like this from the very start and then we've been through a lot of things, which have strengthened our bond." His eyes had gotten a distant faraway look as if he was thinking about something in particular.

She stared at him suddenly intrigued by this new side of James' character that she had just started to explore. Without really knowing how it started, they began talking about his friends, how he met them, how they've always looked out for each other and how he would not trade anything for their friendship. She felt herself drawn in to his words with every second that passed. An unexpected longing in her chest made her realize that she was actually envious of Sirius and the others. She wondered what it was like to feel wanted, to be that privileged and to live knowing that there will always be someone you can count upon and trust.

She breathed in deeply and told him she needed to go to the bathroom. Once inside she leaned on the counter and looked at herself in the mirror as if looking for answers. A freckled face with bright green eyes and straight red hair stared back at her. She suddenly felt confused.

_What are these new feelings? Hadn't sh_e _just told herself that_ _this will be a one-off date? Hadn't she sworn to herself that she'll never go out with James or anyone of the likes of him? She cannot be falling for him. No, she had had everything all planned out. She would focus on her studies, get a job at the Ministry and travel abroad. Then maybe find a husband and have a family. Isn't this what she had always wanted? Why now all this yearning for someone who she had disliked just over a week ago? _

She took several deep breaths again to try to calm herself. She had never experienced this rush of emotions before and she knew that she wanted to think things through. She always thought things through!

"Ok, this is ridiculous" she told her reflection in the mirror. "Now you're going to go outside and carry on normally, finish your date and then return to school and normal life. Nothing more, nothing less."

It seemed simple then but when she returned to their table and looked in his eyes again, all those emotions seemed to resurface once more. She wanted to smack herself in the face.

"Would you like to go for a walk outside?" said James.

She nodded not daring to speak, hoping that the cooler air will help. He left some money on the table and they walked outside.

Back in the Three Broomsticks, Severus discreetly followed James and Lily as they went outside. With a pang he had seen Lily listen to James as he prattled on about his friends, hanging on to his every word. It didn't seem too long ago, during that fated summer before their first year that she used to do the same with him. His fist closed in anger. It was painful enough that she had spurned their friendship and that she was in Gryffindor, without having to see her spend time and go out with Potter. Anyone but Potter! That boy and his meddlesome friends had made his school life a living hell and he'll be damned if he lets him take away the only thing he ever cared about.

James and Lily walked together, fully aware of each other's presence and proximity. Their hands brushed lightly once and she felt like she had been struck by an electric current. She fought the impulse to retract her hand and run away.

Thankfully James always found something to talk about and she felt herself start to calm down again. A little while later she realized that they had emerged from the village and were walking towards The Shrieking Shack.

"Is that part of the date?" she said, pointing towards the shack.

"What if it was?" he quipped back, grinning mischievously.

She narrowed her eyes playfully, partly glad that she was starting to feel normal once more and partly suspicious that she was about to walk into one of the Marauder's famous pranks.

James gave her one last roguish look and walked confidently towards the front door of the Shack.

"I'm not sure we're allowed to go in there," she said lightly, a bit shocked that he really meant to go on with it.

"I'm not so sure about it either but so what? Is the great Lily Evans too scared to go in?" he teased, while he tugged on the door.

She bristled at the comment and said, "If that's your way of impressing your date, you're just digging yourself a deeper hole."

"Humour me and show me what stuff you're made of.", he said holding the door open and smiling.

_The nerve of him!_ Even though she felt that she was walking into a trap, her sense of pride would not let her go and so she strode purposefully towards the door.

"Watch me," she said as she entered the darkness ahead. Once her eyesight got accustomed to the darkness, she saw that she was in some sort of hallway. In front of her there was an old, dirty and heavily cobwebbed staircase. To her left a doorway was open to a room with furniture covered in dusty grey sheets. All the windows were boarded up.

The door suddenly closed with an ominous creak and she was thrown into deeper darkness.

"James!" she hissed, not even knowing why she had lowered her voice. "Open the door. I can't see a thing in here."

There was no answer. _Oh crap, _she thought,_ I knew_ it_! This was just another joke!_

"James!" she repeated. "Joke's over. It's not funny. Where are you?"

Silence. She turned around helpless. The little light that was coming in from between the cracks in the wood was barely enough for her to see her own feet let alone what was happening around her.

She heard a shuffling sound to her left and thought she saw someone move but she couldn't be sure. Her heart had started hammering and she suddenly thought of all those stories that proclaimed that this shack was haunted by some kind of evil spirit. At that particular moment in time, they didn't sound too false.

"James? Open the fucking door. You've had your fun now, stop it."

Still no sound. _She was sooo going to kill him once she got out! _

She started to walk blindlyahead to try to reach the door when suddenly someone or something grabbed from behind and pushed her against the wall.

She screamed and flailed her hands and legs wildly but the person holding her was strong and her efforts did not seem to make any difference. Suddenly there was a loud creaking noise and a splintering of wood and they were falling backwards. They hit the ground hard.

When Lily opened her eyes she was lying on the snow with the door beneath her and James on top of her. Their combined weight must have been too much for the rusted hinges and crumbling wood of the door.

Lily's fear and shock soon turned to anger as she realised James had been making fun of her all along. Instinctively, she raised her hands to hit him in the face and shoulders while shouting at him.

"You idiot! You stupid immature little prick... why did I ever agree to go out with you!"

He deflected her punches easily while laughing all the time. After a while she stopped, panting heavily. He was holding both her arms by the wrists and looking at her, undoubtedly amused. She looked at him while a million of things went through her mind.

She wanted to kick him, slap him and throw him off her to show him that she had no business with guys like him. However, at the same time his eyes seemed to be a magnet drawing her in and she found that she couldn't look away.

Slowly he seemed to become aware of their situation and something shifted in his gaze. He started to lean slowly towards her and with a thud she realised what was about to happen.

Panicking, her heart started to beat furiously. What was she going to do? Did she want this? So soon?! I don't know. She felt like she was going to be sick. Their noses were almost touching and she thought she could feel his heart beating...

A branch snapped underfoot and some voices could be heard laughing and talking, coming their way.

Lily swallowed and said, "I think we should be getting back to school."

James' face fell but he nodded and got up. He offered his hand to lift her up.

"Let's go," he said hoarsely and he led the way back to the castle. On their way back they didn't say a word.

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Wow... that was a long one. Sorry if I delved too much in Lily's thoughts but I felt I had to include it as I feel it's crucial to the development of her character. I hope it wasn't too much. Please leave a review and let me know thanks xx


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Here's chapter 3. Please leave a review... Thanks

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**Chapter 3**

New Year's Eve found James sitting in an arm chair in front of the fire in the Head Boy and Girl's common room. He stared at the flames as he thought about his date with Lily a little less than a week ago. His mind seemed to be stuck on repeat as he continuously played the moment when he had accidentally fallen on Lily in front of the Shrieking Shack. They were so close that he could see himself reflected in those captivating eyes of her, their noses almost touching... and then just when he thought he was finally going to kiss her...

He grimaced, a sudden ache in his heart and looked down at his feet. Now Lily seemed to find every excuse at hand to avoid his company which was an exceptional feat its own right, seeing that they had to share living quarters and had to work together due to being Head Boy and Head Girl. Whenever she saw him she seemed to suddenly remember something and would hurriedly turn and walk in the opposite direction.

He sighed deeply and leaned back, resting his head on the cushioned part of the arm chair. For the thousandth time in the last six days he tried to understand why she was behaving that way. Maybe it was too early for a first kiss; maybe he should have given her more time. Maybe he had offended her with his behaviour. _Or maybe_, said a part of his brain, _she just does not like you. _

There didn't seem to be any other rational explanation. He rubbed his eyes and ran a hand through his hair. He wondered what it would take for Lily to start liking him. Ever since they lay eyes on each other, she had made it her life mission to criticize and oppose him, often in front of half the school population. He never really minded that because he was never one to care what other people thought. But then, at the end of his third year when he started to have feelings for her things started to get more complicated. She was the only girl who had ever refused him and despite everything, this only made him want her more. There was something different about her and what he felt when he looked at her was different from anything that he had ever felt so far. It could only compare to Quidditch but even Quidditch paled when he thought of her. And that's saying something.

Now almost 4 years later, it seemed he was back to square one. _Actually_, he thought sulking; _you never really departed from square one_. _I just wish I knew why she continues to push me away... _

The knocking on the door jerked him from his thoughts. A muffled voice from outside which he recognized as Sirius' said, "Hey Prongs are you there? Did you change the password again?"

"Oh yeah." replied James. Lily had changed the password last night. She had left him a note on his bedroom door and he had not had the chance to tell his friends yet. "It's complicated!"

"I bet it is," said Sirius. "What is it?"

"Complicated," said James smiling ruefully. He had thought the choice of word strange until he realized that maybe Lily was trying to say something without actually having to face him.

"Complicated?" said Sirius sceptically and the door swung inward, revealing the three Marauders standing outside.

"What kind of password is that?" asked Remus as they shuffled in and settled down on the sofa.

James shrugged and said, "You should ask Lily. Maybe she'll answer _you_ back."

Sirius placed a hand on James' back and said, "You still haven't managed to talk to her then?"

James shook his head.

"Ah forget about her!" said Sirius. "There are plenty of other girls who'd willingly fall at your feet. I don't understand why you're still stubbornly following the only one who doesn't seem to give a rat's ass about you."

Peter glared at him at which Sirius held up his hands apologetically. Remus just laughed.

James smiled and said, "I don't know how to explain this but if you ever get lucky and lay your eyes on a special someone you'll understand."

"Lucky?!" said Sirius incredulously. "If pining and getting your heart broken is considered lucky then it's a single life for me!" Peter snickered.

"Maybe you just need to give her more space" said Remus. "You know how girls are... maybe the date you had last time was too much for her to take in and she just needs some time to figure her out her feelings and what not."

Sirius was looking at Remus with a strange expression on his face. "You know Remus, you should enrol in _Witch Weekly_ and start giving advice to those love struck chicks who actually read that crap."

He pretended to be a girl and starting batting his eye lids and placed a hand on his chest but soon had to duck down as Remus send a cushion flying his way which was soon followed by a particularly thick copy of _A History of Magic_.

James laughed hoping that the book was not Lily's as it now lay open and crumpled in a far corner of the room. He was feeling much better. His friends' jokes had helped to lighten his mood and Remus' words of advice had helped to settle his mind. Maybe he was right; maybe Lily didn't hate him after all. Maybe all she needed was time.

With renewed hope, he joined in the fight where a myriad of objects were now flying around the room.

...

Later that evening, James and the others were huddled close together on top of the Astronomy Tower to watch the annual fireworks display organized by their Headmaster to celebrate the New Year. Just as the clock struck midnight, Hagrid would set off the fireworks from somewhere on the grounds of Hogwarts near the lake. It was always a nice spectacle as the fireworks lit the sky above them and reflected in the still waters of the lake below. Some of the fireworks would also be enchanted to burst in different shapes and change colours.

It was quite a beautiful night. There were no clouds and they could see the different constellations easily high above their heads. It was also very cold and whenever they spoke, their breaths came out in white mists before them. James shivered despite wearing multiple layers of clothing and a thick woollen cloak.

"I hope it doesn't snow," said Peter.

James nodded although he thought it unlikely as it was a clear night. As he lowered his eyes he noticed Lily leaning against the wall of the tower a little away from them. She seemed to be alone. He desperately wanted to talk to her but remembering Remus' words from earlier that day, he held back. Therefore he limited himself to giving her furtive glances whenever he thought she wasn't looking.

He checked his watch. It was five minutes to midnight and the small crowd was getting excited to see what surprises were reserved for them in this year's fireworks display. Madam Rosmerta, being invited by Professor Dumbledore to watch the show was busy giving out steaming mugs of butterbeer who were welcomed with open arms and grateful smiles.

James turned his head to look at Lily once more. Just as he looked her way, she turned her head to the opposite direction as if she had just been looking at him. He turned his head to look in front of him, his heart beating a little faster. After a couple of seconds, he turned to look at her again and this time she was caught off guard. Her eyes widened and she hurriedly looked down, seemingly to examine her finger nails.

James smiled to himself and feeling encouraged decided to take another risk. Taking two mugs off Rosmerta's tray, he made his way slowly towards her.

Lily saw what he was doing and panicked. She immediately looked around trying to find a way away from him. To her left was the edge of the tower and a sheer straight drop to the ground below. To her right there was Severus and his gang and she had no desire to stay near them either. She realised that she was trapped and so she resigned herself to the oncoming James.

Her heart was beating ridiculously fast and she felt weak at the knees. She scolded herself, telling herself to stop being silly. She tucked a loose strand of hair beneath her hair and shivered, although she suspected it was not only from the cold.

...

"Here, have one." said James, once he reached her, offering one of the mugs.

"Why are you here?" blurted out Lily, not meaning to sound so rough.

If he was taken aback, James did not show it.

"You were all alone and you seemed cold. A _thank you_ would have been more than enough," he replied, smiling.

She blushed a deep shade of crimson as she accepted the mug and mumbled her thanks.

She looked up and found him staring at her again. Her stomach did a weird thing where it seemed to flip upside down. She was dimly aware that Professor Dumbledore was addressing the crowd before the countdown.

She took a sip of butterbeer to try to calm down the butterflies which seemed to have gone suddenly wild inside of her. James moved closer and she involuntarily moved one step back, a thing which James did not fail to notice. He stopped in his tracks, his mouth forming a tight line.

"Listen," he started slowly. "I don't know why you're not talking to me and why you're avoiding me but I just wanted to say sorry if I offended you. I didn't mean to push you or anything and if you need more time or space I will back off."

She looked at him, her mouth slightly open. When he saw that she didn't say anything he turned to walk away.

"Wait! Stop!" she said, not believing what she was doing. Her hands were shaking and afraid that she might drop it, she put the mug on a stone ledge as James turned back to face her.

"You," her voice caught in her throat and she took a breath and continued. "You didn't do anything to offend me. On the contrary, you've been nothing but sweet and caring these past two weeks, especially when I was a cat."

All around them the people began counting.

TEN!

James looked at Lily not daring to believe that she had called him sweet and caring. She continued to speak.

"It's just that I'm confused. I guess I'm not used to seeing you so caring and I've always thought you were such an asshole – no offence-," she said but he waved it off. "-that I never ever thought to give you a second glance."

EIGHT!

James was now hanging to her every word, hardly daring to hope or believe. Lily linked her hands and looked down, apparently finding it difficult to express the next part.

SIX!

"But now it's as if everything's turned upside down. I don't know what to do!" She took a deep breath.

FIVE!

"I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'd love to spend more time with you but I'm afraid of what this would mean... I'm afraid that you'll turn back to how you were before... I feel so out of control that I'm scaring myself."

FOUR!

James stepped forward. He had stopped listening as soon as she said she wanted to spend time with him.

THREE!

Lily stepped back, only to find the wall behind her. She swallowed hard.

"I just want this to work out." she whispered, barely audible over the noise.

TWO!

Her heart was hammering and as if in a dream she saw James leaning towards her and putting a hand on her face.

"We'll find a way to make it work," he whispered just before he kissed her.

ONE!

The sky burst in a dazzling array of colours as the first of the fireworks exploded high above but this was nothing to what Lily was feeling inside of her. It was as if fireworks had just detonated inside her sending her reeling, grateful that she had the wall to lean onto.

James kissed her gently but with such an intensity that took her breath away. When they finally broke away they were blushing slightly but smiling.

James felt giddy enough to jump off the tower and bounce back up. He held her by the waist, pressing her close to him.

"Pinch me." he said.

"What?" she giggled, thinking she had misunderstood him.

"Pinch me so that I know I'm not dreaming," he said.

Lily smiled and pinched him hard on his arm.

"Ow!" he said jerking his arm away. "Ok...I guess I'm not sleeping." He rubbed his arm.

She laughed and said, "That's for scaring me at The Shack."

"So you were scared!" he quipped back.

She just smiled and turned to look at the fireworks. He held her from behind.

"Happy New Year." he whispered in her ear, which made her go all warm and happy inside.

"Happy New Year.", she answered back just as a firework cat exploded overhead.

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Waaaa! I love this chapter. I am so happy right now it's indescribable. PLEASE REVIEW!


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Severus cleared a patch of snow under the oak tree near the lake with his wand. He spread an old blanket on the floor and sat down, leaning heavily against the trunk of the tree. He closed his eyes, relishing in the silence and the stillness of nature. The grounds were mostly abandoned; not surprising seeing that it was bitterly cold and everyone preferred to stay indoors to keep warm. He didn't mind the cold; in fact it helped him to keep his emotions in check.

He had needed a place where he could stay alone, away from the hustle and bustle of the school. He needed some time to think about... things. Severus gripped his wand tightly, his knuckles turning to white suddenly wanting to curse something.

What he had feared had finally come to pass, up on the Astronomy Tower about a week ago. When he saw them kissing, it had hurt so much that he had found it difficult to breathe. He had wanted to throw himself off the tower; instead he had descended the stairs and made his way to his dormitory, unnoticed by all...

He still couldn't believe that it had actually happened but James Potter seemed to be making it a point in reminding him daily; Holding hands in the corridor, sitting next to each other in class, hugging, teasing her, kissing her playfully on the neck... but what hurt the most was the way she looked at him. Her entrancing gaze looking up at him... those green eyes filled with devotion and love... those same green eyes that should have been looking up to him. He craved her attention with ever fibre and cell in his body and to see them finally together was heart-wrenching to say the least.

A sudden rush of self-loathing and disgust came over him and without thinking about it he jerked his wand to the right. A flash of red and a trunk of a tree snapped cleanly in half, slid down and fell to the ground with a crash. He hurriedly looked around to see if anyone had seen that but thankfully the grounds remained deserted. He stood up, gathered his blanket and returned slowly to school choosing to take the path that took him near the greenhouses.

As he walked, he thought about his earlier promise that he wouldn't let James take Lily. _So much for that_, he scowled, as he kicked a stone sending it hurtling in the bushes. A bird flew out of the bush, clearly startled. Snape followed its flight up towards the dusky sky where the moon was just starting to rise behind the hills.

_The moon!_, thought Severus suddenly as his pulse began to quicken. He wondered how much James had really told her about their monthly escapades beneath The Whomping Willow. He suspected that she still had no idea since Professor Dumbledore had told them to tell no one and keep it a secret. He had only come across the truth by chance when Sirius had tricked them into following them one night, last year.

_You're supposed to keep it a secret as well_, he told himself, remembering with discomfort how James had probably saved his life in the last minute and how Dumbledore had forbidden him as well to reveal anything he had seen that night.

Lily would never forgive James if she found out he was lying or hiding things from her. _Was he really going to do that? Would he really dare defy a direct order from Dumbledore?_

The next full moon would be upon them soon and he would have to make his decision fast.

...

Lily was sitting at the table in the common room, poring over her books. They were going to take their NEWTs this year and she was already starting to feel the brunt of the work that was being piled upon them not to mention that she had Head Girl duties to attend to as well. Surprisingly, the only thing that seemed to be holding everything together was her relationship with James. He was funny and caring at the same time and had a way of alleviating her tension and putting her in a good mood. These last few days had been magical to keep it brief. For all his faults, he adored her and treated her like a queen which made her feel like the luckiest girl on Earth.

Through James, she also got to spend more time with the rest of the gang and although she did not partake in their scheming and planning, she enjoyed their company all the same even though Sirius was too full of himself, Peter too quiet and Remus... Remus was an enigma. Last time she was shocked to notice that he had faint lines all over his face and arms which she then realized were all scars. He also always looked relatively pale and sometimes even tired. She had tried talking to James about it but he wouldn't say anything, saying that it was a personal matter and it was up to Remus to tell her, if he ever wanted to.

She was a bit bummed at his response but she had dismissed the issue to focus on more pressing things like the 3-foot long essay she need to hand in Arithmancy next Monday. She sighed and blew out air as she flipped through an old book looking for more useful uses of the Agrippan Method.

A pair of hands rested on her shoulders. Lily threw her head back to see James looking down at her.

"Why don't you come upstairs?" he said softly, while massaging her shoulders gently.

She closed her eyes. "Hmm... I can't" She pouted, pushing out her lower lip. "I have to finish this essay first."

James looked at the length of parchment on the table. She was barely half way through. Dejected he said, "But that's going to take you ages to finish!"

"I know... I'll probably camp out on the sofa tonight.", said Lily trying to lighten his mood.

"What?!" cried James. "Oh come on... you can finish it off another day. You have plenty of time."

He kissed her and pulled her off the chair, leading her towards the staircase from her hand, his hazel brown eyes shining with anticipation. Wanting nothing than to give in and let him lead her upstairs, she very reluctantly tugged her hand away from his and stopped at the foot of the staircase.

"James I'm sorry... I have to finish this first. I promise I'll come by your room later on if you're still awake. "

He opened his mouth to say something but stopped and closed it again. Then he said, "Fine." and trudged up the stairs to his room. Feeling a little guilty, Lily returned to the table and her homework. James could be a bit like that sometimes. Being an only child, he was a bit spoiled and accustomed to doing whatever he likes. Lily on the other hand was the responsible type who, before she could truly relax had to get her errands, chores and work out of the way and done with.

She was pretty sure that James hadn't as much as touched a single book today. She had tried telling him to start his homework but he insisted that he did not do homework on Fridays. Sighing, she removed those thoughts from her mind and instead focused them on her essay with the single intent of finishing it.

Around two hours later, Lily quietly opened James' bedroom door. She walked on tiptoes towards his bed. He was sleeping on his back and snoring softly. His glasses were still on, albeit a bit crooked. He was naked from his pants upwards and one of his legs was hanging off the edge of the bed. Lily stood there amused, looking at him for a few seconds, observing his chest rising and falling and the expression of contentment on his face. Then quietly so as not to wake him she approached him and gently pushed his leg in bed, pulled the blanket up to his chin and removed his glasses. She kissed him lightly on the lips and turned to go.

His hand on her wrist caught her by surprise and she whirled around.

"Where do you think you're going?" he asked, his voice a little hoarse from sleep.

"I thought you were asleep!" she said, sitting on the bed.

"I was." he said simply, sitting a little up in bed. "No more."

He spread his arms and she kicked off her shoes and lay comfortably in the crook of his arm, her head nestled perfectly between chest and shoulder, listening to the beats of his heart.

He drew lazy circles on her back as she closed her eyes. "You finished your essay then?" he asked, kissing the top of her head.

"Mmhmm," she said, yawning, the fatigue suddenly catching up with her. Lying with James on the bed always made her feel safe and so she slept more easily.

He kissed her on the top of her head. "Listen," he said, pausing a bit to try and find the right words.

"Hmm?" said Lily, still with her eyes closed. James breathed in. _Here goes nothing,_ he thought.

"Next week I have to go with Remus and the others... Remus has... He is... sick. Yeah... and he needs treatment outside school. So we accompany him to Hogsmeade every month. Just thought I'd let you know..." He trailed off and listened to her response.

Nothing. Feeling a bit nervous he peered down over her head to look at the expression on her face.

"Lily?" he called softly. She called her again and then realized that she had fallen asleep.

He groaned and slumped back on the pillows. _He had to find a way of telling her again another time_. He turned to look outside at the window. The moon was almost full. _And he had to be quick about it too. _


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

"What do you mean he's sick?" questioned Lily, raising her eyebrows.

She and James were on Head Boy and Head Girl duty, patrolling the corridors just after curfew. James had just finished telling her that tomorrow he would have to accompany Remus to 'Hogsmeade' to get 'treatment' for his 'illness'. As expected she did not take it down lightly.

"He has this... strange disease and he has had it since childhood." said James, trying to sound convincing. "He needs treatment every month and Sirius, Peter and I accompany him every month for three nights."

She stopped walking and looked at him, searching his face. Her green eyes felt like lasers scrutinising every inch of his body. "Does Dumbledore know about this?" she asked suddenly, her eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Yes of course he does." said James nodding. "He was the one that suggested we accompany him in the first place."

She seemed surprised but then finally nodded appearing to relent and accept the situation. "Why didn't you tell me about this before?" She sounded a bit hurt.

James moved closer to her and held her hand, intertwining their fingers together. "Like I said, it's quite a personal affair and I wanted Remus to tell you first. However, I couldn't leave without telling you anything. Besides," he said as he held her to him, "I had orders from Dumbledore to tell no-one about it."

She smiled and kissed him lightly on the lips. "Fine," she said sighing, moving a bit back. "As long as Dumbledore knows, it's ok I guess."

"Thank you for understanding," said James.

She smiled again and told him she was going to check out the corridor on her right side. As he looked at her walking away, James allowed himself to breathe and tried to push down his feeling of unease. He hated not being completely honest with her but Dumbledore was right, the less people who knew about Remus the better. As he continued walking down the corridor, he tried to reassure himself that he wasn't lying to her. He was just leaving out bits and pieces.

...

The day after, Severus was in the library with his potions book open in front of him. At intervals, he would cross out a particular ingredient and scribble another one on top directly on the book or add something to it. He was extra careful not to let Madam Pince see him as she would have kicked him out of the library for defacing school property. He wouldn't have minded if that had happened yesterday or tomorrow but today he needed to be here to talk to someone in particular.

He checked his watch. _Any minute now,_ he thought as he fixed his gaze on the door.

A little bit later a familiar face with red-hair and green eyes entered the library carrying what seemed half the library in her hands. Without giving Severus a single glance she went to sit down at the table farthest from him, partially hidden behind one of the bookshelves. He gave it a minute or two and then closed his book and moved slowly towards her.

From where he was standing, all he could see were her eyes and the top of her head as she was already immersed in a book and was holding it up in front of her face as she read. He bridged the rest of the distance quickly and sat down without bothering to ask.

Her eyes widened as she realized who it was and she lowered her book slowly.

"What do you want?" she asked her voice a bit cold.

He smiled but Lily thought she saw a bit of sadness behind it. "There was a time when you would have greeted me with a smile and a hug." he said as he looked at her with those deep fathomless eyes of his.

She lowered her eyes and said almost regretfully, "That time is over and done."

He nodded slightly and continued, "Lily... why did you accept to go out with James?"

Her head shot up and she stared at Severus, not quite believing what she had just heard.

"Is this why you're here?" she asked loudly. Madam Pince gave her a disapproving look and Lily lowered her voice. "Why do you want to know?"

"You didn't answer my question," he replied calmly still looking at her.

She looked him in the eyes and after a while she said, "This is really none of your business but...James isn't the person he was anymore; he has changed and I love being with him. He's funny, loving and one of the few persons who I feel I can truly trust."

She thought she saw something shift in his eyes but his face remained utterly neutral.

"You're wrong," he said so quietly she barely heard him.

"What?!" she cried and bit her lip as she realised she had shouted in the library for the second time in a row.

"You're wrong," he repeated, somewhat amused by her reaction.

There were some things that really pissed Lily off and someone telling her she was wrong was one of them.

"You know what? I came here for peace and quiet and I do not appreciate being interrupted especially by you and your blatant lies!" she hissed, trying hard not to raise her voice.

Ignoring her accusations and sensing that he was about to be dismissed, Severus quickly said, "I can explain if you'll let me."

Lily rubbed her temples about to flick him off but something, maybe curiosity, held her tongue. She sighed, "Enlighten me then."

Pleased that he had her attention, he started speaking. "James is not being completely honest with you." He had risked all in saying that as he didn't know if James had told her yet but judging by her reaction it seemed that he had hit his mark. She widened her eyes as he continued, "What do you know about Remus and his monthly activities?"

She frowned, "What does Remus have to do with James' honesty?"

"Humour me." said Severus simply.

She pursed her lips and said, "Only that he is sick and needs treatment in Hogsmeade once a month." It was useless pretending not to know anything when Severus had made it clear that he knew what was going on.

Severus sneered which caused Lily to scowl. "Remus isn't sick."

"Oh yeah and how would you know that?" she said raising an eyebrow.

"I followed them once... last year. I know what goes on in _Hogsmeade _and trust me, they do not go there because Remus is sick."

She felt suddenly queasy as some doubts started to form in her mind but she tried to still them. "Why would I trust you?" she asked him doubtfully.

"Because apart from them, I'm the only other one who knows what's really going on." he said, with a smirk. After a while, when Lily didn't answer, he said, "Listen... if you don't believe me you... –we can follow them and you can see with your own eyes. But we'd have to be careful as we don't want to be seen and it can get... dangerous."

Her heart picked up pace at the mention of danger. She was suddenly not sure of anything anymore. _Can Severus be trusted? Was he telling the truth? What was James really doing? _There was only one way to find out, she had to talk to him.

"_We_ are not going anywhere," she told him sternly trying to appear unfazed and concealing her doubts. She stood up and gathered her things. She glared at him and said, "I'm sure that if there was something else, James would have told me about it... I think that the only reason you're saying this is because you're jealous!"

Severus scoffed and stood up as well. "I'm only doing this to protect you... and whether you believe it or not I am _not_ lying. I would never lie to you."

Her gaze softened a bit. "That remains to be seen." she said before she turned away and headed towards the door.

...

She had meant to talk to James that evening but she hadn't had the chance as James had Quidditch practice till late. She tried to stay up and wait for him but by the time he returned she was fast asleep in her bed.

She woke up when she heard a creak outside her bedroom. Night had fallen and Lily quickly put on her shoes and went to peer out of her door. James was descending the staircase and rapidly crossing the length of the common room towards the door. She was about to call his name but she stopped herself at the last moment. James was almost at the door and she had just a few seconds to make a decision.

By the time he closed the door behind him, she was hurrying down the stairs herself but not before dashing in James' room and grabbing his invisibility cloak after remembering Severus' warning to be careful. She felt a bit guilty about sneaking on him but her curiosity got the better of her. She donned the cloak, promptly disappearing from view and opened the door slowly. James had already arrived at the end of the corridor. She followed him silently, trying to be as fast as she could...

James met the other marauders at the foot of the grand staircase. Remus looked ghostly pale in the dim light and was leaning heavily on Sirius. Together they walked down the stairs and outside in the grounds. With a pang, Lily saw them veer towards the Forbidden Forest instead of the main gates of Hogwarts. _Weren't they supposed to be heading towards Hogsmeade?_

But she didn't have much time to think about it as Remus suddenly dropped to the ground on all fours. He was visibly shaking and clearly in a lot of pain. Lily wondered what kind of sickness he had that he had to be carried in secret at night from the school to the village. Severus suddenly popped in her mind sneering and saying, "Remus isn't sick." She pushed the memory out of her mind as she continued to follow the boys at a safe distance.

Sirius muttered some words of encouragement and together with James they picked him up and half-carried him to a clearing in the forest in whose centre, Lily realized, was the Whomping Willow. As always the tree was waving its branches relentlessly around which was an effective way of keeping all those who feared for their well-being safely out of its way. Occasionally some of the branches would slam down forcefully to the ground with a deafening thud. Incredibly, instead of giving the tree a wide berth as any sane person would do, the quartet was heading directly towards it.

Lily gasped as a branch whipped alarming close to James' head but he stepped back just in time. _What the devil do they they're doing? _ she thought furiously and recalling that Severus had said that it would be dangerous. Suddenly, Peter seemed to be shrinking, his body changing shape. With increasing incredulity, Lily saw that Peter had transformed into a large rat. _Peter? An animagus?_ That did not make any sense but nothing seemed to make any sense anymore as her initial doubts started resurfacing.

Remus was groaning and Sirius called out urgently to Peter, "Quickly! We don't have much time!" he said while looking fearfully at the sky. _Time for what?! _

Lily turned suddenly to look at the sky fearing something about to attack them but there was only the moon and the stars. Confused, she turned back in time to see Rat-Peter run beneath the branches of the Whomping Willow and place his paw upon a knot in its roots that had been previously invisible. To Lily's astonishment, the tree froze instantly looking as harmless as a new-born kitten. Her mind actually hurt with trying to keep up with everything that was happening but she was moving again as the boys had just disappeared inside the tree into what apparently was a hole amongst its roots.

She hesitated only an instant before following them down and making sure that the cloak was still covering her. She found herself in an underground tunnel. In the darkness up ahead she could see the others shuffling along by the light of their wands. Remus' groans and cries of pain, amplified by their closed surroundings reverberated down the tunnel towards her. She shuddered as a shiver went suddenly down her spine. She was afraid; _what had she gotten herself into? Most importantly, what were the boys up to?_

After some time, they arrived at what looked like a trap door above them. Sirius being the tallest of the lot reached up and opened it easily. It opened upwards with a creak and a thud as it slammed on the other side, wherever that was. One by one they scrambled through. Remus had to be pulled upwards. In their haste they had left the trapdoor open. With a grunt Lily lifted herself up and took a second to get her bearings.

Dusty furniture covered in sheets, a wooden floor, boarded-up windows and a staircase full of cobwebs. It all came to her at once: she was in The Shrieking Shack! She heard a noise coming from upstairs. Bewildered she climbed the staircase slowly on tip toes trying not to touch the banister, without making any noise. Light was spilling out of an open door at the end of the upstairs corridor. She moved silently towards it as she heard James say, "Put him on the bed!"

_The bed?! Is this where Remus' treatment is given?_ Her heart was thrumming like a drum as she turned towards the open door and entered the room, completely unnoticed. Remus was writhing and twisting on the bed. Peter was still in rat-form, standing up on his two tiny feet on the window-sill. Sirius and James were at the foot of the bed looking at Remus with a mixture of pity and sadness.

_Don't just stand there! _Lily almost shouted out loud. _Do something! Help him!_ She wasn't sure she could take it any longer and she felt like she was about to cry.

As if they heard her, James turned to Sirius with a determined expression. "It's time."

Sirius nodded and immediately started shrinking and crouching down on all fours. Thick, shaggy black hair as well as a long tail sprouted along his entire body. His ears shot up, his face elongated in a snout and his teeth grew longer and sharper. _He had turned into a big, black dog!_

Shocked beyond her wits, Lily stared as James started to do the same as he turned in what was unmistakeably a stag complete with hooves and a set of big, branched horns on his head. By that time, it took every inch of Lily's body to keep herself from crashing down to the floor but apparently the night was not over yet.

Remus' cries of pain had suddenly become much louder. Dreading what she might see, Lily shifted her gaze towards the bed. Remus' body was shifting as well but something about his transformation was different. It was as if Remus was battling against it, his body rejecting it. Lily winced as she heard his bones crack and his neck snap as his body aligned itself to accept this new alternation.

Remus gave an almighty shout which ended in an unmistakeable growl. Lily took a step backwards when she saw what was lying on the bed: it was a wolf... No, it was much larger than a wolf... She had read enough about them to easily recognize the tufted tail and its... his.. Remus's eyes... which were now yellow and wild. Remus was a... werewolf.

Severus' face returned, taunting her and sneering. "Remus isn't sick.", he'd said and she realized he was telling the truth, as a wave of betrayal and disappointment threatened to engulf her. She took another step backward terrified as Remus jumped off the bed. Sirius and James stood still, on their haunches tense and waiting. Sirius' hackles were up, his fangs bared while James lowered his head, prostrating his massive set of horns.

Remus the werewolf threw back his head and howled. Lily put her hands over her ears, shaking uncontrollably and bit her lower lip to prevent herself from screaming. Once the howling stopped, she let out a low shaky sob. The werewolf instantly moved his head to look in her direction although Lily was positive that he couldn't see her. Horrified, she saw that he was moving slowly towards her sniffing the air. She knew that she should have been running away but she remained there, riveted to the spot and drenched in cold sweat. Sirius and James were looking at each other, clearly confused as to why Remus was behaving that way. Then it all happened in a flash; Remus suddenly growled and lunged towards her. Still beneath her invisibility cloak, Lily closed her eyes and screamed.

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CLIFFHANGER! *grins evilly* I'll try to update soon... meanwhile you can leave me a review. :3 xx


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you Angelique for the review as I couldn't reply back. :) Here's the next part!**

* * *

**Chapter 6**

Lily instinctively raised her arms over her head and braced herself for what was to come but it never did. She heart a massive crash to her right and she opened her eyes tentatively. There was a big jagged hole in the wooden wall through which she could see James still in stag form standing over Remus who was thrashing on the floor, bleeding from his side. James had apparently just saved her life.

Suddenly she felt the Invisibility cloak slipping off and saw that Sirius had clamped it firmly within his jaws. His canine eyes widened slightly when he saw who it was. A snap and a low growl distracted them and they saw that in the corridor Remus was slowly standing up despite the wound in his side. James who apparently still hadn't noticed her presence was standing with his back to them, blocking the way. With one last admonishing look, Sirius ran to stand by James' side.

Sirius barked and James turned around and that's when he saw Lily, standing pale and terrified in the room behind him. That moment's distraction cost him dearly as Remus suddenly lashed out with his claws, scratching him deeply on the shoulder. Lily shrieked as James whelped and stepped back, his shoulder now sporting three long bloody lines. Sirius snarled at Remus, baring his teeth and causing the werewolf to step back. He lunged and clamped his jaws on Remus' leg. The werewolf howled and moved further back. It was clear that Sirius was trying to get Remus to back in another room at the far end of the corridor away from them.

Meanwhile, James was moving towards Lily and she noticed that he was transforming back to human form as he walked. Without a word he grabbed her hand and pulled her away and down the stairs. He turned to face her with a grave expression on his face.

"James, you're hurt!" said Lily, looking at the wounds on his bare shoulder, momentarily forgetting her disappointment in finding out that James had lied.

James ignored her and harshly said, "What the hell are you doing here, Lils?"

Bristling, she looked back at him suddenly defensive and little hurt. "I could ask you the same thing."

Another crash and more growling sounded from above. James' head snapped upwards, with a concerned expression on his face.

"Now is not the time for talking," he said as he led her hurriedly towards the trapdoor. "You need to go back to the castle and stay there."

Lily withdrew her hand roughly from his grasp, suddenly angry. "So this it then. You're dismissing me... just like that... with no explanation. You_ lied_ to me, James." She repeated emphasising the word.

James' hazel eyes suddenly filled with guilt and hurt. Lily heard footsteps behind her and she whirled around only to see Peter now human once more descending the stairs and carrying the Invisibility Cloak in his hands.

"You need to go," said James in a small voice. "Peter will accompany you back to the castle. Speak to no-one about this and go straight to our dorm. Do you understand me?"

Lily looked at him, her eyes brimming with unshed tears and nodded but she didn't move. There was another loud thud from above and an unmistakeable whine of a dog.

"GO! NOW!" James snapped at her before heading back upstairs.

A single tear rolled down her face as she turned to follow Peter down the trapdoor.

...

It was close to dawn when James returned to their common room. Lily was sitting on her bed, with her knees drawn up to her chest, arms crossed and head bowed. She hadn't been able to sleep as an endless stream of thoughts rushed through her mind.

_Remus is a werewolf... How could Dumbledore allow such a thing? The others are Animagi... James could turn into a stag at will... James had lied to her. _

James knocked lightly on her door and opened it, walking in. As her eyes fell on him, she felt as if she was looking at another person.

He walked towards her and sat down on the edge of her bed. His shoulder was bandaged but other than that he seemed to be OK. They just sat there in silence for a while, both of them avoiding each others' gaze.

Then Lily asked, "How's your shoulder?", deliberately trying to prolong the moment when she'd have to ask him why he had lied.

"Madam Pomfrey said it will heal within the next week," he said touching the bandages lightly with his other hand. "She cleaned the wounds but said she couldn't do much against werewolf wounds... they have to heal by themselves."

Lily's mouth formed into a thin, straight line as she said, "So she knows about this as well."

James nodded and said, "Yeah, Dumbledore had to tell her since we suffer multiple injuries every month and we needed medical help."

"I was the only one left in the dark," she said, her voice laden with hurt and disappointment.

"I had orders from Dumbledore not to tell anyone," James said, pleading with her to understand. "And you saw how dangerous it can get... You almost lost your life Lily! I did it to protect you against the very thing that you did anyway! If anything had happened to you I... How do you think that would make me feel?"

Lily swallowed hard but didn't say anything, head bowed unwilling to look at him.

"How did you find out? How did you know where we were?" he asked after some time.

"I followed you... I knew that it was dangerous but how was I supposed to know...None of this would have happened if you would just have been honest with me from the start!"

"How did you know that it was going to be dangerous? I never mentioned that it involved any kind of danger... I just told you that Remus is sick and that we accompanied him to Hogsmeade."

Lily lowered her eyes and bit her lip. She did not want to involve Severus in this but she had let that bit slip. James was ahead of her though and before she could answer he said, "It was Snape wasn't it? He was the only other one who knew about this". He took her silence as a 'yes'.

"That snivelling little git!" he shouted, standing up. "You'd think he'd learned his lesson last year. He knew how dangerous it is and he sent_ you_ fully aware of the risks." He gripped his wand in his hand, his knuckles turning white. "I'm beginning to regret saving his life... I think I'll have a word with him later on."

Lily looked up. "Don't do anything stupid James.", she said, looking at him suddenly worried.

James laughed darkly. "Oh the stupid one is him for daring to go against me."

Just then Lily decided that she'd had enough. "He was trying to tell me the truth!" she said, now standing up as well. "_because_ my boyfriend failed to do so."

James scoffed and said, "So you're taking his side now."

"I'm not taking anyone's side! I'm just saying that I thought I knew you James... I _trusted_ you."

"I already told you I couldn't tell you the whole story." he said raising his hands, exasperatedly.

"And what is Dumbledore playing at? Allowing a werewolf to attend Hogwarts and four of his students to babysit him?! I don't know what to think anymore." She ran her hands through her hair, her eyes running wild.

"That werewolf has a name and it's Remus and he's my friend," said James glaring at her. "He knew of the risks and didn't want to attend school but Dumbledore made arrangements because Remus has a right for an education just like everybody else."

Lily blushed a little, now regretting having said those words especially after knowing how caring and responsible Remus normally was. James continued speaking.

"And _we_ offered to keep an eye on Remus after we found out that he was a werewolf. I wasn't lying about that part."

James continued to tell her how they had taught themselves how to transform into animals in order to be able to fend off better Remus' attacks and how they had found out about the secret passageway that linked Hogwarts to the Shrieking Shack. With disbelief, Lily listened as James told her that the rumours that the shack was haunted were false and were created to keep away curious individuals from the place. When he finished, Lily's mind felt about to explode with everything that she had seen and heard in the last several hours.

"Where is Remus now?" she asked.

"In the hospital wing." he replied, grimly. "His transformations always take their toll and to top it off, he was hurt when I moved in to defend you." As an afterthought he added, "Sirius is there as well; Remus practically threw him at the wall last night."

Lily looked down at her feet guiltily. "Is there anything else I should know?" she said after a while.

"That is all there is to know." said James. Then his gaze seemed to soften as he moved closer to her, "I'm sorry for not telling you about this... but now you know. It's been a long night for both us... can't we just start forget it and start afresh?"

He moved to place a hand on her cheek but she grabbed his wrist and stepped back. She lowered her gaze to avoid looking at his face and see the shock and hurt in his eyes. "I'm sorry James... I think I need some time to think about this... I thought I knew you but now I am not so sure of that anymore."

"I am still the James you knew. So what if I can turn into a stag once in a while to help a friend? It doesn't change anything between us Lils." he said as he looked at her, searching her face for an answer.

"I don't know... that may be the case but you should have been honest with me from the start."

James withdrew his hand, a strange determined expression settling over his face. "Take all the time you want but I will not lose you over this Lily Evans. Not after I had finally succeeded in having you by my side."

With one last look, he turned to walk out. "I'm going to my room to sleep."

...

_Later..._

Severus slammed hard against the thick castle wall outside. James held him by the throat, pointing his wand at his head. Severus made little grunting noises as he tried to remove James' hand from around his neck.

"What were you trying to accomplish Snivelly?" hissed James, as he looked at Severus twisting beneath his hold. "Did you for one second think of the consequences?" He slammed Severus against the wall once more, gritting his teeth. "Did it ever cross your insignificant mind that Lily might get seriously hurt or worse lose her life?"

At those words, Severus stopped fighting instantly, his eyes widening. "What happened to her?" he said, a little tremor in his voice.

Despite his anger, James smirked. "Why would you care?"

"What happened to her?" repeated Severus, now more forceful.

James released his hold a little but kept pointing his wand in Severus' face. "Nothing... but no thanks to you."

Severus lowered his eyes in relief and almost immediately howled in pain as James' fist made contact with his nose. Severus held his bloody nose with one hand and pointed his wand at James with his other hand. James walked forwards until the tip of Severus' wand was pressing against his chest.

"This is but a warning Snivellus. The next time you meddle with things that do not concern you and put Lily's life at risk, I will not be so kind."

Leaving the threat hanging in the air, he gave Severus one last loathing look and departed.

...

Severus stood hopelessly in the entrance hall. After going to the Hospital Wing to fix his broken nose, he had spent the better part of two hours searching for Lily. When James had told him that she could have been hurt last night his heart had stopped beating. Now he had to be sure that she was truly OK; he had to see for himself but he couldn't seem to find her anywhere. He had been to the Library, to the Great Hall and had even waited for her outside the Gryffindor common room for a while but it was all in vain. Lily seemed to have disappeared.

Shaking his head he went outside the big front doors needing some air to clear his head. _Where else could she be?_ _Maybe she was on Head Girl duty... _He was about to turn back inside when he heard someone coming up the steps. He turned around and found himself face to face with Lily.

"Lily!" he shouted rushing towards her. "James told me... How ar-" He stopped mid-sentence as her hand suddenly dashed out and slapped him in the face.

He put his hand on his cheek, where she had left a red imprint of her hand. She was breathing rapidly, looking at him with a mixture of anger and disgust. That hurt far more than the blow he had just received.

"Lily, I.." he started to say but she cut through him easily.

"Never talk to me again," she said, her voice raw with emotion, pointing an accusatory finger at him. "You knew what Remus was and yet you told me to follow James. You knew what I was getting into and yet you encouraged me to go!"

"I told you to be careful!" he said and then more slowly, "I never thought you'd go through with it."

She scoffed and said, "You know me better than anyone else... You knew I wouldn't resist knowing what was going on. That's why you came to me in the library in the first place!"

"I didn't mean for you to get hurt! I only meant to show you the truth." He replied, his black eyes searching for an ounce of mercy in hers. He found none.

"Yes. Congratulations. Now I know the truth," she replied, wiping a tear angrily off her face. "Is this what you wanted? Well you've got it!"

"Lily...please... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..." he implored, trying to hold her hand in his own, terrified at how things had managed to unravel so fast.

"NO!" she replied, withdrawing her hand and pushing him away. "The time for apologies is over. Our friendship is over... the little of it that remained."

He flinched as she gave him one last disgusted look and walked away, up the stairs away from him. As he turned to watch her go, he wanted to stop her and call out her name but he knew it was useless. He had made a grave mistake and it had cost him dearly. He had lost Lily forever.

* * *

Poor Sevvy. Life was always hard on him. :/


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

James toyed with the food on his plate, lost in thoughts. Not only had he managed to lose his trust with Lily but Remus was now confining himself to the dormitories, racked by guilt and shame. Although when he had transformed back to human before dawn, he knew that something had gone wrong he did not remember who it was. James had to tell him that Lily had followed them and that he had attempted to attack her. Since then, despite the encouragement by the other boys, Remus had refused to step out of the dormitories apart for the lessons.

James felt a twinge of anger in his stomach as he thought of his friend who was already reserved as it is and so this was making his situation worse. His thoughts turned again to Lily and then to Snape. _She should not have been there. _

He raised his head, looking at the Slytherin table across the Hall. Severus locked eyes with him and sneered. James impaled a roast potato savagely with his fork, without breaking eye contact until the Slytherin had to look away.

"Are you eating that?" said Sirius, motioning to the food on his plate.

Despite himself, James' mouth twisted into a half smile and he handed over the plate. "Don't forget to save something for Moony."

Sirius nodded, stuffing his mouth with gammon and potatoes. He swallowed and said, "He has to come out of the dorm at some point. He can't stay there forever."

"Let's hope so," he sighed, as he spotted Lily standing up and making her way towards the doors.

He made to stand up but Lily hurriedly motioned for him to sit down and said, "You don't have to come with me, Potter." James grimaced; she had reverted back to calling him Potter instead of James. "Prewett will accompany me on Duty tonight."

The Ravenclaw Prefect appeared at her side just then. James slumped back down and nodded half-heartedly, recognising the defeat and watched her as she walked out of the door.

...

Meanwhile in the boys' dormitory, Remus lay in bed looking at his transfiguration text book trying but failing hopelessly to read the third chapter. After re-reading the first few sentences for what seemed the fiftieth time he closed his book shut with a snap and sighed loudly. He couldn't stop thinking about what had happened a few days ago, during the last full moon. Not only had he hurt Sirius and almost injured a student but she happened to be his best friend's long-time crush and girlfriend whom was now blaming James for his lack of honesty.

_It's all my fault_, he thought grimly as he looked at the canopy of his four-poster bed. _I feared something like this would happen eventually...What am I supposed to do now?_

Slapping himself in the face, he suddenly remembered that he had Prefect duty tonight. He jumped off the bed, wincing slightly as his muscles were still a bit sore and hurried out of their bedroom.

...

Lily had just finished assigning the prefects their duties when she spotted Remus rounding the corner and approaching them. She was suddenly a bit nervous, her mind going back to what she had witnessed a few days earlier. He looked pale and tired and was also uncharacteristically late.

"Sorry," he panted. "I know I'm late... I had forgotten I had duty tonight."

"Well," said Lily trying to smile. "I've just finished assigning duties and I think we can manage... you can have the night off."

He didn't say anything so she turned to go away. "Hey Lily," he said, touching her shoulder.

She flinched and abruptly stepped back, realising a little too late what she had done. Ashamed she saw that he was looking down, clearly hurt.

"I'm sorry," she said, at a loss for words. "I didn't mean to..."

"No," said Remus hoarsely. "That's okay... Can I talk to you for a second?"

She tucked some hair behind her ears and said, "Ok, sure. Let's walk." She berated herself silently, wondering why she was acting so oddly. Her mind answered that it probably had something to do with the fact that he was a werewolf.

"Don't worry," said Remus in a dark sardonic tone. "I won't bite."

Lily laughed despite herself and blushed. "I'm really sorry Remus," she replied. "It's just this is a little bit too much to take in. I just have to get used to it."

"I know," he said as he looked at his feet. No one said anything for a while and then he said, "Listen... I wanted to say sorry for what happened last time. It's just that when I transform I have no control over my body or my actions."

Lily was about to say something but Remus raised his hand, "I _know_ that is no excuse and that I have no business endangering other people's lives and that you're angry... you have a right to be angry but _please_, don't take it out on James. He's not to blame. All he did and said... or didn't say... was all because of me."

Lily stuck her hands in her pockets and looked away from him out of the windows. "I understand that but he should have been honest with me, Remus. Then none of that would have happened... and you wouldn't be here feeling guilty and trying to make up for his mistake."

Remus stopped and turned to face her. "I owe those boys everything. They help to take my mind off the fact that I have to go through the pain of my transformation every month, they accompany me throughout the whole ordeal and they have offered to do all this out of their own good will. When I'm with them I don't feel like a... a monster. I actually feel normal."

Remus paused and Lily was surprised to see his eyes moist with unshed tears. Instinctively, she reached out and stroked his arm. He took a deep breath and continued, "I'm not trying to convince you to forget everything and to suddenly start looking at them as if they're heroes or saints... Trust me I know them better than you do and I don't agree with some of the things they've done and I have told them so myself... though not as much as I'd have liked to." He smiled ruefully and Lily smiled back.

"All I'm saying is they, especially James, have accepted me for who I am straight away and without question. So I cannot stand there and see you guys fighting over something that happened because they were trying to help _me_. I feel responsible for what happened and you and James were just caught in the middle of this."

He stopped and looked at her. She nodded and said, "Thank you for telling me this. I'll... keep it in mind. I'm sorry for how I've behaved earlier and for this whole thing... I wish there was something I could do."

"I know what you can do," he replied as she raised her eyebrows. "Find James and talk to him. It doesn't take much to notice that that guy is head over heels in love with you and he has been so for a while. Believe me, I know something about it." He rolled his eyes and she laughed. "Do that and maybe I'll feel less guilty about trying to hack your head off the other day."

She smiled. "Ok... I promise I'll try to talk with him later on but you..." She pointed a finger at his chest. "You have to let me know what you guys are really up to from now on... no more secrets."

"I have a feeling Sirius will not be happy about that," he said, grinning but he thrust his hand out all the same. "We have a deal Ms. Evans."

"A deal it is," she said, while shaking his hand.

...

Later, Remus accompanied her to their common room and she was not surprised to see James, Sirius and Peter sitting on the couch by the fire poring over that map of theirs. As they stepped in the room, James looked up and leaned back as he looked at Lily. Remus stayed by the door and called out to Sirius and Peter.

"Hey guys, I think the elves have made some extra chocolate truffles... Do you want to go grab some?" Sirius and Peter promptly stood up and headed his way. Just before he left, Remus looked at Lily and winked. She smiled gratefully at him and closed the door behind him.

James was looking in the fire and poking the embers with a stick. She went to sit down next to him. "Hey." she said softly.

"HI" he replied as he sat the stick next to the fireplace and turned to look at her.

"Remember New Year's Eve on top of the tower?" she asked as she looked at him.

"How can I forget?" he said, his face splitting into a wide smile so contagious she found herself smiling as well.

"Remember how you told me that we were going to make this work?" she asked again, trying to remain serious.

"Yeah," he said but then his face seemed to freeze and he asked, "Do you still want to make this work?"

Lily looked at him for a couple of seconds and said, "Yes I do." He seemed to sag with relief and again she tried hard not to smile. "BUT... you must understand that if we want to make this work we have to trust each other... and to do so we have to be honest with one another."

James nodded as he looked into her eyes. "I know... I'm sorry Lily. It won't happen again." He held her hand in his.

"I'm serious about this James." she said, searching his face. "No more lies. Either all or nothing."

"I get it. I'll be an open book from now on," he said as he put his arm around her shoulders. "But you still can't come with us during full moons."

"Trust me," she said. "I think I've had my fill of werewolves to last me a lifetime."

He chuckled and kissed her. Then he looked at her until she started blushing. "Have I ever told you how beautiful you are Evans?"

"Hmm..." she pretended to think. "Yeah... I think you might have mentioned it about half a million times."

"Well that's cause you are." he said, simply as he ran his fingers through her hair.

"You won't gain points by showering me with compliments, Potter," she smirked.

"You can't blame me for trying though," he said shrugging and eliciting a laugh from Lily.

They just sat there for a while and then he said, "Am I still worthy in your eyes?"

The question caught her by surprise and she looked at him trying to see whether he was joking but he looked dead serious.

"If you weren't I wouldn't be here, James. I don't work hard for something unless I think it's worth it. You lucky thing happen to be one of them." She smiled as she rearranged his glasses and attempted to pat down his hair.

He hugged her then so tightly she actually found it hard to breathe for some time. "I am not letting go Lily. We _will_ make it worth the fight, I promise you."

"I'll look forward to that," she replied, smiling.

* * *

Tada! This is the end. I may post something new and original on fiction press soon if you want to take a look. Thanks for reading. xx


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